Things you never expected to learn

I give you the Coolest Thing Ever.


I started this rubber band ball over three years ago, adding two or three rubberbands with each day's mail delivery. I started it because, really, what else do you do with 3,000 rubberbands? I never expected that it would be the Coolest Thing Ever.

The story starts on Wednesday. The monsters had a doctor appointment, and they each had shots. They were such troopers! I gave them some acetaminophen, ice cream and ice packs, and we thought all was well.

Thursday, Bubba tells me that his head hurt so bad at night that he couldn't sleep. Being an extremely scientific mom, I put the back of my hand on his forehead, and sure enough, he was running a fever. His school has a "No Fever" policy, so Bubba went to work with me! He camped out in a conference room with cartoons, color crayons, and a sketch pad in the morning.

After lunch, Bubba was feeling great. He even helped me stuff envelopes! (Trust me, that's love.) He was prowling through my office while I tried to write letters and sort files when he said, "Mom! What's that?!?"

"What's what?"

"That super cool ball?"

The rest of the afternoon was shot. We went outside on the green and played with the rubberband ball. Let me tell you, this thing can bounce. It loses almost no kinetic energy! Roll it against a wall and it will come tearing back at you at Mach 10.

I don't think I have ever had so much fun at work. And it really was a productive day.


To give you some idea of its size, here's another shot of the Coolest Thing Ever. It is roughly four inches in diameter when measured with my thumb.


Peek-a-Boo is less than impressed.

Whoo - Hoo!

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Sudsy Interlude

I've been playing with colors in my soap. Both goats milk and olive oil soaps are notoriously hard to color, and my soaps are heavy in both. This is what I've got so far:

Plumberry

The Plumberry was supposed to be a soft shade of pink swirled into the soap. Instead I've got a blush of pink on top of the soap. Oh well, it's still pretty!

Forest's Edge

This is a mix of sweetgrass and juniper scents. It is a soothing blend of sweet and earthy, and currently one of my favorites. Unfortunately, the soap moved too fast for swirling, so I layered the colors. The end result inspired the name Forest's Edge.

I'm antsy to keep going on this learning curve, but I had to order more supplies. They should arrive on Wednesday. Until then, I guess I'll knit!

You know you want them

No craftiness tonight, my friends, just pictures of my monsters. Last night Bug was so tired he couldn't even get in the chair. Poor guy.

And Bubba's mouth has gone into overload. His adult tooth is about to burst through his lip!

There's no pain, and the tooth underneath the swelling is almost out, so we're not worried. It just looks so gross!

A Day of Thanksgiving

On this day of reflection, I find my thoughts turning to my family. I am thankful to have a wonderful husband and loving children, and I am especially thankful for my step-father's family. They took me in as a shy five year old, lost and uncertain and taught me how to love matter of fact-ly and unconditionally. They gave me many holiday traditions that I am now passing on to my children. One of my favorite traditions is serving Vareniki at holiday meals.

Vareniki are Ukrainian dumplings, a food staple in many homes. They are usually stuffed with potatoes, much like perogi, but Dad's mother's were always stuffed with cheese curds and baked in cream. Her recipe, written in her careful copperplate hand, simply listed the ingredients. The details were shared with her daughters, who in turn taught me.

I have made this dish every year for Thanksgiving and Christmas. I've shared it with friends, neighbors, and coworkers, and now I share it with you.

Christine's Vareniki
Ingredients for dough
3 cups flour
2 teaspoons baking soda
1 teaspoon salt
water

Ingredients for stuffing
12 ounces large curd cottage cheese
1 egg

12 ounces heavy cream (unsweetened)

Press the whey (liquid) from the curds (solid) with a cheesecloth.

In a medium mixing bowl, add the egg to the cheese curds and mix gently. In a separate bowl, sift together flour, baking soda, and salt. Slowly mix in water to make a smooth, elastic dough.

Roll out dough to 1/8 inch and cut into 3 inch circles. Fill the center of each circle with cheese filling, fold over and press the edges together.
Gently place the dumplings in boiling water for three to five minutes, until they float.
Using a slotted spoon, remove them from the water and layer in a large baking dish. Pour heavy cream over the dumplings and bake covered in a 350* oven for one hour.
Sprinkle with brown sugar and enjoy.
Mmmmm yummy. I'm also thankful I made enough for leftovers!

A Free Pattern! Cabled Headband/Ear Warmer

I finished my Fetching little mitts.


Yarn: Bouton d'Or Songe
Colorway: ? My monsters stole my colorway! It's the purple one.
Modifications: As my yarn was much lighter than that called for, I added one cable round at the wrist and four rib rounds before the thumb.

And I decided to make a matching headband with the left-over yarn. When knit with the same weight yarn, this will make a nice, warm headband, thick enough to cover your ears. Again, my yarn is much thinner, making my headband much daintier.


Using cable cast on, CO 120 stitches, join in a round, being careful not to twist stitches. Place a stitch marker or safety at the join to mark the beginning of the round.

Row 1-4: *k4, p1* repeat to end

Row 5: *CB4, p1, CF4, p1* repeat to end

Row 6: *k4, p1* repeat 20 times (100 stitches) k4, w&t

Row 7: *p4, k1* repeat 17 times (85 stitches) p4, w&t

Row 8: *k4, p1* repeat 14 times (70 stitches) k4, w&t

Row 9: *p4, k1* repeat 11 times (55 stitches) p4, w&t

Row 10: *k4, p1* repeat 14 times (70 stitches) k4, w&t

Row 11: *p4, k1* repeat 17 times (85 stitches) p4, w&t

Row 12: *k4, p1* repeat to end

Row 13: *CB4, p1, CF4, p1* repeat to end
Row 14-17: *k4, p1* repeat to end
Bind off all stitches loosely. Weave in ends.

To make this larger or smaller, add or subtract 10's of stitches (10, 20, 30). My headband is 22 inches.

I've also added Haloscan to my blog. Supposedly, this will help manage comments and give me the ability to email replies. One drawback is all comments from before the installation are no longer available. So thank you, dear commentators! I have not deleted your valuable input, and I look forward to hearing from you again! :P

From one end to the other

Wednesday and Thursday were utterly awful. I took stock, I hugged my kids, I cuddled my furbabies, and I knitted. My outlook is much brighter now!

I've finished the body of Cherie Amour. Hooray! I am doing something crazy with the sleeves. If I'm successful, I'll tell you all about it. If I'm not, I'll make some drunken post railing against the knitting gods.

Blue on blue on blue

I finally had a chance to take a picture of this in sunlight. Can you see the beautiful, subtle variegation? I am so gosh darn proud of myself! My sister had better love this! As a side note, before binding off the shoulders, I tried this on. The Hairy One's reaction was, "Wow!"

I am definitely making one of these for me!

Pet me, I'm shiny

And even though I have sooo many hedgehogs to knit, I cast on Fetching on Friday. This yarn is a gorgeous kid mohair/viscose mix. It is fuzzy and shiny! It's thinner than the yarn called for in the pattern, but by knitting a little loose (very easy for me on dpns!) I've found only my row gauge is off. I added one more cable round, and I am adding four rib rounds before the thumb.

I won't finish both of these this weekend, unless there is a series of miracles, but they should be done shortly. I really like these, but if I don't finish enough hedgehogs, I may be giving them away!

Why won't I finish these super easy, knit 'em in a weekend fingerless gloves? The Hairy One's back is wonky again. He spent the day in bed, and I had to stand in for him at a birthday party. I spent my afternoon manning the grill while teenagers and young children ran screaming. I don't think they were screaming because of my grilling prowess, but I'm not sure. The burgers were juicy, but the hotdogs were the weird red ones. They were rather frightening!

Now don't get me wrong, I am not a hermit, but I am not a fan of crowds or small talk or bullsh*t. Remember the line from Steel Magnolias: "Well, you know what they say: if you don't have anything nice to say about anybody, come sit by me!" That's me. It's fun in the right mix, but not this afternoon. I grilled, I read, I reminded my monsters not to kill each other or anyone else, and I knitted. I am such a social misfit!

The highlight was when Bubba proudly announced to another child, "Do you know what my Mom can do? She can knit! She made me a hedgehog and ear warmers and she's making a sweater!" My kid's proud of me! I'm enjoying it now, because I know it won't last.

After that fabulous afternoon, I went straight to my knitting chair, ready to watch some juicy crime shows on DVR. Black Tom told me in no uncertain terms that I was not sitting down.

I'm sitting in your chair

After cleaning up the blood and retrieving my dpns from the drop ceiling, I decided Tom could have the chair for a little bit longer. I'm going to see if he's done.

Dance, Magic, Dance

For everyone on the knittyboard....



Love me some Goblin King!

Secret Squirrel Has a Bad Day

One of the drawbacks to my job is that sometimes bad things happen that affect me deeply, and I can't talk about them. Today was awful.

All I can say about it is hug your children. Squeeze them until they squeal. Tell your loved ones how much they mean to you. Don't wait. Don't take anything for granted.

French fries do not contaminate your hot dog!*

Bleck. It was a craptastic day at work today. Thank the powers that be that it's knit night tonight! Two or three hours of nothing but knitting and kvetching! Whoo-wee do I need that.

Enough whining.... Here's some knitting:

Cherie Amour

Want to know a dirty little secret? I can count or I can knit lace. I can't do both at the same time. I have ripped the bodice lace on this three times. I'm now eight rows past the armhole division. I've decided to knit both fronts and the back at the same time (because I'm insane!). Actually, there is a method to my madness. I know that there is no way I could make all three pieces exactly the same length if I knit them separate. This sweater is for my sister Sassy, a birthday/Christmas gift. It may be done before she has her baby.

Wait... don't I have a baby cardi on the needles? Yep! And no progress. I've reached the hood and I am bored to tears. I have six inches to go and six months to finish it.

And, even though I needed to do two, I finished one hedgehog this weekend. He's brown and black and impossible to photograph without sunlight. Bubba loves him.

Last but not least, Blogstalking Week 9. (Is it really week 9? Well, Week Whatever!) The assignment is a pic of your junk drawer. I don't have a junk drawer, I have a junk room. Our master bedroom is really a mother-in-law suite, something I had never heard of until moving to Florida. Our bedroom has a teeny-tiny kitchen that doubles as my secret laboratory.


Most of the junk is stuffed in the shoe boxes. See the soap drying on the rack? Yummy Plumberry and "Forest's Edge," my blend of juniper breeze and sweet grass. It is fabulous!

*Yet another title stolen from conversations with the monsters. The Bug had a meltdown because his french fries landed on his hot dog. It's a terrible thing.

When soap goes rogue

Soap making is an art, but it's also a science. At its most basic, soap is made through the chemical reaction between a base and an acid. The fatty acids found in oils create specific properties in the soap, and each fatty acid reacts differently with the sodium hydroxide. The responsible soap maker carefully calculates these reactions and measures the ingredients as accurately as possible. In a perfect environment this would create the perfect soap every time.

However, there are three main variables that can interfere with this chemical reaction. They are heat, humidity, and the homogeneous blending of the ingredients. I will talk about heat and humidity in other articles. It is the importance of proper blending that is occupying my mind at the moment.

In properly blended soap, the sodium hydroxide reacts in its entirety with the fatty acids in the oils. No sodium hydroxide will remain in the final product. Most modern soap makers use stick blenders to achieve this even mixing of the soap ingredients.

Recently, I made a goats milk and oatmeal soap. As it was curing, it continuously wept oil. This is not a good sign! When I took it out of the mold, this is what I saw.

Click to enlarge

In this soap, the ingredients were not mixed homogeneously, allowing pockets of sodium hydroxide to form. Note the uneven colors and the vertical lines between layers. Those vertical lines are sodium hydroxide crystals, leftover due to uneven mixing.

This soap has gone into the trash, and my stick blender has been replaced. I shouldn't see this again for a very long time (knock on wood). However, this experience underscores the importance of testing the pH of every batch of soap. Soap, whether handmade or commercial, should have a pH of 9-10. Any higher, and the soap will be too harsh on the skin; any lower, and the soap won't be able to clean.

If the soap fairy should visit you with a bad batch of soap, remember each one is a learning experience. Put your gloves back on and try again!

Happy soaping!

I'd rather they get botulism than whine*

Once again, while in the car, Bubba was trying to decipher the universe. The following is as close to his words as possible.....

"Mom, I think I know how God grew up."

"Really?" said I.

"I think that God's mom and dad died when He was still in His mom's body. When He got to heaven, all the spirits were so happy that they raised Him to be the leader. Now He's in charge of the whole universe."

I wanted to ask so many questions: Who made the universe? What happened to God's mom and dad? But I was too busy trying to hide my laughter.

*I actually said this. The Hairy One made me promise to put it in the blog.

Finally a Finished Object!

First read this. I still need a few volunteers to test soap; you know you want to!

I've been promising pics of the Pretty in Pink Tank.
This is not a perfect sweater, but I've been wearing it! I bound off a little too tightly, and the straps will not stop curling.... I've taken to wearing it inside out to keep the straps in line. This pattern was quick and easy to follow; perfect for a first sweater.

I've still got the baby cardi on the needles, but I'm in the final stretch of stockinette for the hood and it's boring!

So, to keep my sanity, I started Cherie Amour! I plan on doing this sweater twice. The first time will be without modifications for my sister Sassy, the second time will be for me, with lots of mods. I've found this to be a very quick, satisfying knit, but I also know that many have been frustrated with various design elements. We'll see how it goes.

This is yarn that I over-dyed color on color to create a very subtle variegation. It came out perfectly, IMHO! I'm trying to get a good pic of it, but with the time change, I can't seem to take pictures in sunlight. This pic was taken in the parking lot at work (while all the other mindless drones wondered what the hell I was doing!).

And last but not least, I've calculated that I need to knit at least two hedgehogs this weekend. That's the only way I'll finish them all in time for the holidays! Hermione had her debut at the LYS on Wednesday; she was greeted with critical acclaim and applause.

Well, if I'm going to knit two hedgies this weekend, I'd better get cracking!

The Angel of Death needs to speak with you

We're doing some remodeling at the office and the project manager's name is Azrael. No one here understands why I laugh like a mad woman when they say, "Azrael has a question for you."

I'm not surprised

The Breakfast of Champions*

Please note that the breakfast items are on the car. I know it's horrible and the super cool Allstate guy says I'll go to hell for it, but I eat on my commute.

*I've now got "We Are The Champions" ala Chicken Little in my head. Also, did you notice the addition to my dashboard? I love my monsters.....

Calling All Brave Souls

Although inspired by all the knitty blogs out there, I originally started this blog to talk about soap making. It's been three months, and I only have one post about soap..... Silly girl.

So, tra-la! *furls arms like a magician's assistant* Beautiful handmade soap!

This is Naked Goat Soap, a goat’s milk soap with no added fragrances. It naturally has a soft, sweet, milky scent. The goat's milk combined with nourishing olive and rice bran oils and luxurious mango butter gently cleanse without stripping your skin's natural oils.
And the all-time favorite (so far): Almond Biscotti Kitchen Soap. This is a gentle yet hardworking soap to combat those persistent kitchen smells: onions? garlic? This soap knocks them all down without drying your skin! Cocoa butter soothes while fresh coffee grinds scrub and whisk away stinkiness. And the scent? Divine chocolate amaretto.... Mmmm yummy!*

For those of you who've made it all the way here, you're probably wondering "What's the deal with the title?" Well, I need soap-testing volunteers. My friends and family have happily tested my soaps for years, but they can only wash so many times a day! Plus, I'm not sure they are as brutally honest as they should be.

So, if you are feeling brave and love fancy schmancy soaps, send an email to twopalms @ cfl dot rr dot com (or click on the sidebar). I will randomly send you samples of my latest creations with a detailed ingredient list and a tentative name of the soap. All you have to do in return is give me an honest critique.

Why the sudden largesse? I will be opening an Etsy store soon, and I want to hook as many customers as possible before hand. Okay, not really, but I would like to take the next step of soap for profit (yeah, right - no one makes money on soap). Before I invest in the local round of spring craft fairs, I'd like to know which soaps are popular across the largest spectrum of people.

You know you're curious!



*Do not eat soap! No matter how good it smells. Really. It won’t taste good at all.

Happy Birthday Bubba!

Bubba turned six years old this weekend! He's grown up so fast.... We went to the Renaissance Faire, as we do every year. We were halfway through the two hour drive when I realized I forgot the camera! Crap.

This year the fire eater Johnny Phoenix used my lighter to start the show! You have to understand that the Hairy One and I have been inadvertently stalking this guy for seven years now. We saw him at our first ren-fair together, and he has been at every ren-fair since. He does a hilarious show! If you ever get a chance to see him - take it. You won't be disappointed. I was going to talk to him after the show - maybe joke a little about stalking him, but I got too shy and chickened out. There's always next year.

The finale at the ren-faire every year is the royal joust to the death. Every year the bad guy cheats and kills the good knight (sorry for ruining it for you!). Every year, my sweet monsters have to check to make sure he's not really dead..... "I know this is really pretend, but I just want to make sure he's okay."

Speaking of the monsters, how about Halloween costumes? Bug is the knight, Bubba is the skeleton monster. I've been thinking of ways to knit "armor" for the boys. I'm thinking a shiny silver/gray yarn, DK or worsted weight, knitted in garter stitch on size 13 needles..... Maybe for next year!

Here's an awkward segue into crazy projects: my first two hedgies are done! They are desperately cute, if I do say so myself. Hermione, the pink one, will go on display at All Strung Out. Hedgie is destined to become Bug's best friend. I have three more to make: Bubba's in brown and black, Sassy's in purple and burgundy, and Yaya's in green and orange. Here's the details:

Hermione Hedgehog
Pattern: Fiber Trends Hedgehogs
Yarn: Approximately 165 yards Dark Horse Yarns Rhapsody 100% Merino color # 71; 100 yards each Dark Horse Yarns Metal Wink, yellow and pink. I skipped the darker color for the paws.
Needles: US 10 1/2 (6.5 mm) for the body and US 11 (8 mm) for the back. After the first hedgehog, I also used US 8 to pick up the stitches for the back, then knitted those onto the 11's.

Notes: These knit up super fast! It's instant gratification. A few observations, though: I found it so much easier to pick up the stitches for the back with smaller needles; when I did that, I didn't end up with holes I had to sew up later. The back is done is a series of short rows - great practice for me! I would strongly recommend that you do not put the hedgehog down in the middle of the series. You will become completely lost! (Or is that just me?)

All in all I love these guys. They are sooo cute!!

Finally, I am very behind on Blogstalking. Last week's assignment was the oldest picture of yourself you have. I wasn't sure what I'd find for this. About four years ago we had a house fire and lost almost everything. We were able to save some pictures, but they were all damaged. I haven't had the heart to go through them in any detail until now.... Forgive the crappy quality of the picture of a picture. My scanner at work died, and I can't get my photo editing program to work here at the house.

That little black dot is my head! The gorgeous woman reading is my mom. I love the fact that she is intently reading while nursing; I did the same thing with my monsters.

I'm Back!

So last Wednesday our modem craps out. We get on the phone with Tech Support and they are adamant that it is not the modem.... I changed out the NIC card (yay me!) replaced the cords - nothing. Back on the phone with Tech Support and they still say it must be something with the computer. I check the settings, the firewalls, the filter - the stupid thing should be working!

Finally they send a guy. He says, "I don't know" (after replacing 99% of the hardware). They send another guy. After three hours, it's fixed, but he doesn't know what caused the problem or how he fixed it. I love computers! And I love Tech Support!

So, mad catch up! First, a Day in the Life at the House at Two Palms:


That sums it up. The only consistent thing day to day is my coffee.

Next, some Works in Progress. These are actually a week late.

I've been working on a baby cardi for my little sister's peanut. I've decided that I need to knit more baby clothes. Talk about instant gratification!

I am so excited to finally be an aunt. Sassy is due in May, and that baby will have the most hand-knit items of any child in our family! This sweater only has three inches on the sleeves and finishing left. It's kind of an "Oh Duh" thing, but I've been knitting both sleeves at the same time.

I've also joined the Hedgehog craze. These guys knit up so fast that it's easy to see why so many people are making them. At the time of the picture, we were trying to decide between the orange and the teal funfur. The orange made him look like a team mascot, so I went with the teal.

I took him to knit night last week, and the fabulous Gigi was so taken with him, that she asked me to make one for the store. She gave me some wool that they are thinking of carrying; I get to be the first to test it! It is absolutely fabulous, smooshy marino wool. I'll get pics and details up soon.

Hedgie and Hermione are done and awaiting felting. I will be making at least three more, so you will soon be sick and tired of hedgehogs!

In other news, I finished the Pretty in Pink tank. Pics and pattern notes soon; I'm still waiting to get both sunshine and a photographer at the same time. I had to frog the Shapely Tank: I was knitting it in a cotton blend that did not take well to the pattern. I've got a light wool blend to try, and I'm adjusting the pattern to knit in the round.

I will add this week's wip's, catch up on Blogstalking, and post pics of the monsters in their Halloween finery soon.