Bubba's Colorblind

First a little back-story:

We live in a very heterogeneous area. Our neighbors are black, white, Hispanic, Asian, sun worshippers, and creatures of the night. I've tried to raise the monsters to see skin color the same way they see height: some people are tall and some are short; some people are brown and some are pink. That's just the way god made 'em.

Keep in mind as you read this that the boys and I are rather fair, while Mister Man, with his outdoor hobbies and absent-minded use of sun block, tans quite dark.

We were shopping this weekend and Mister Man got separated from the rest of us. The boys and I wondered around for a while, looking at this and that, and then started quartering the store looking for their dad. Across the way, I saw a man with the same general build as my husband, but as we got closer, I realized it wasn't him.

"Well," I said to the boys, "that man is big and has a shaved head, but that's not Dad."

"No, Mom," said Bubba, rolling his eyes. "That man's white."

"What?!?" I said.

"Dad's black."

Another Bubba-ism

Bubba spent the day at work with me today. As we were driving back to the office after lunch, he said, "You know what I believe?"

"What, honey?"

"I believe someday we'll be twins."

"You mean when you're a grownup you and I will be just like twins?" I asked, hoping for an insight into his mind.

"No, after we die, and we wait for a really long time, we'll come back as twins."

Say it with me: Awwwwwwwww!

It's Spring!

It's spring break time in Florida. The streets are full of sunburned tourists, the grocer’s freezer section has been stripped of all microwavable convenience foods, and we're running low on booze...

Our economy is dependent on two things here: tourists and NASA. I love both, but it is disconcerting to run to the grocery store and find it wall-to-wall college students with carts packed with ramen noodles, microwave pizzas, and cases of beer. I just want to buy milk and eggs, people! Come on!

I’m afraid I get especially impatient when I’m on the highway, stuck behind a car with Ontario plates (or Wisconsin, or New York…) driving 10 miles below the speed limit. For goodness sake! The speed limit is 55, buddy! If we were on the beach road or driving through the wildlife refuge, I’d understand, but there are only dingy strip malls on this particular stretch of road.

On the other hand, there is nothing quite like watching people’s reactions the first time they see the ocean. They trudge from their cars, dragging their coolers and umbrella stands across the boardwalks protecting the dunes, and suddenly they stop in amazement. The ocean goes on forever, blending into the sky at the horizon. It takes my breath away too.

On the home front, T-ball has taken a turn for the crazy. I have always maintained that children’s sports are taken too seriously and haven’t wanted to expose the monsters to that. I deluded myself when it came to T-ball. I thought that a game that has no score, no strikes, and no outs couldn’t possibly become super competitive. Yeah, I was wrong.

Suddenly all the T-ball teams have to practice coach pitch, and during the games each batter gets five coach pitches before they drag out the T. Keep in mind that these teams are four to six year olds, and we still have to remind the kids to run to first base…

My boys are still having fun, and we’ll stay until that’s no longer true. Bubba was extremely proud at the last game to have caught a fly ball from first base. I didn't have the heart to remind him that it was his team’s ball and he was supposed to run to second.

I’ve made the Hairy One promise that we would switch to karate after baseball season and never look back.

So enough of my mad blatherings! I know you’re really here to see baby bunnies. These pictures were taken last Sunday when they were two weeks old. You can almost watch them grow.

A big pile of Awww

Look, Ma, I'm all grow'd up!

They’ve begun chasing Mama around, hoping for a meal. She has a baby-free shelf in her cage where she spends most of her time now. We have rabbit pellets mixed with oats (good for baby tummies) and crocks of water where the babies can reach them. They aren't very interested yet, but it won't be long!

Bunny Trance!

The bunny trance is one of the neatest things about rabbits. Under certain conditions, when a rabbit is placed on his back, he goes into a trance-like state, totally zoned out. It is utter bliss to have a bunny trance out on your lap!

More baby pictures can be found here.

One last thing: I promised Miss Fish that I would try chronicle all the funny things the monsters say. With the baby bunnies, I have had to tread a fine line between honestly answering the boys’ questions about the facts of life and having the sex talk with them.


Bubba had been pondering this mystery of life and asked, “Mom, where do baby bunnies come from?”

Me: “Um, what do you mean?” hoping to avoid the “when a mommy bunny and a daddy bunny love each other very much” speech.

“Where do baby bunnies come from?”

“Well, the mommy bunny and the daddy bunny…”

“No, Mom,” eye roll, “where do they come from?”

“Can you ask me the question with different words? I don’t understand what you mean.”

Bubba is quiet for a minute, deep in thought. “Oh, I know. The mommy bunny just poops the babies out of her penis.”

“What?!?!” holding back shrieks of laughter. “No, honey, mommies don’t have penises. Only boys and men have penises…”

“Oh, you mean your penis falls off when you have a baby?”

I had tears from suppressing my giggles. I did explain the differences between men and women (again) with a brief discussion about the womb and the birth canal. I tried to be somewhat vague without being confusing. I absolutely do not want another frantic teacher call followed by the “penis is not a bad word, but it is private” conversation again.

Spinning, Seaming, and... Baseball

Sorry about that; I lost the alliteration.


We had a very busy weekend here at the House at Two Palms. This weekend marked the opening day of the monsters' T-Ball league. We walked to the ball field for pictures, hotdogs, and bouncy things. Whoever designed those blowup bouncy castles is a genius! The boys looked so cute in their uniforms - hats falling over their ears and socks up to their knees. I still have reservations about this whole Little League thing, but they're having fun so far. I only wish Bubba would stop calling his shoes "clits."


I seamed up Mrs. Darcy and started transferring my notes into a legible format. I'm still waiting for buttons - hopefully they will get here tonight! As soon as buttons are on and all ends are woven in, I will post details on all the modifications.


I also took my borrowed Louet for a test drive! I had some "Canadian wool" to practice with.





The spool on the left is my first attempt - very crazy thick and thin two ply. The spool on the right is much more even, although it is obviously overspun. I haven't weighed the spools or checked wpi - heck, I haven't even set the twist yet!

The monsters are very impressed that I can make my own yarn now. The Bug is hinting that he'd like a sweater I "made from a sheep" and Bubba has stated loudly that he'd like to spin. We have plans to break out the drop spindle next weekend. Hopefully it won't be like the "Teach the Monsters How to Knit" night - those ER co-pays add up quick!

Manly Man Knitting

It's sad but true: I am not terribly romantic. I don't watch "date movies" or "chick flicks," I don't read bodice rippers, and I don't get wrapped up in Valentine's Day. This year, however, I came to my senses early enough to whip out a few things for The Hairy One.

No Pom Pom for Him

First on the needles was a quick hat, based on Elena. It's knit with Manos del Uruguay 100% wool (#104) on size 11 dpns. I skipped the full three inch fold back, replacing it with one inch of seed stitch. I also skipped the pom pom (duh) and added one more row of decreases. I really liked making this hat - bulky wools mean quick knits.

The hat is warm and stretchy, the colors are fabulous, and The Hairy One is ecstatic.

Real Men Wear Fingerless Gloves Too

Still on the needles is the second fingerless glove. I had about half a ball of the variegated Manos left, so I combined it with this lovely creamy tan and made up the pattern. I have to hurry up and finish the second one - he wants to take them to the Daytona 500 on Sunday, just in case it gets cold.

Did you notice the giant eyeball above my couch? Bubba painted that for us when he was four. It's party streamers pasted and painted on the canvas board. He told us he had an elephant eye inside and it had to get out. That is teh awesome.

Who's got the Mojo?

Today is going to make or break my holiday mojo. We start the day with the Reindeer Run, a 5K run/walk held every year in our hometown. Bubba and Bug will be running about half the run this year; I'll follow them on my jingle-bike.

Next, we rush off to Breakfast with Santa. The jolly old elf makes a special appearance every year to have pancakes with the kids and raise money for needy families. Last year Bug was in tears from the excitement; hopefully this year is not so traumatic.

So, you'd think that would be enough, no? No. We still have the library book sale and the holiday parade.... I haven't even mentioned the holiday knitting that must be finished this weekend! Sheesh.

I will definitely need my favorite invention of the twentieth century.

I was tempted to list myself as my favorite invention, but I resisted! This is the one thing that I will immediately replace should it break.

If you look at my sidebar, you will see I have finally launched my Etsy store, Turtle Cove Soaps, handmade at the House at Two Palms. Take a minute to visit the store and send me a convo to tell me what you think. I have listed the best of my goats milk and specialty soaps, and of course I'll be adding more as the pass my exacting standards. Right now, I am working hard in my secret laboratory, developing a knitter's salve. It will soon be for sale in my Etsy store and my LYS All Strung Out.

Not for Ed or the Faint of Heart

Sorry, Ed; you may not want to see this.


We've decided Bubba is part shark.

Things you never expected to learn

I give you the Coolest Thing Ever.


I started this rubber band ball over three years ago, adding two or three rubberbands with each day's mail delivery. I started it because, really, what else do you do with 3,000 rubberbands? I never expected that it would be the Coolest Thing Ever.

The story starts on Wednesday. The monsters had a doctor appointment, and they each had shots. They were such troopers! I gave them some acetaminophen, ice cream and ice packs, and we thought all was well.

Thursday, Bubba tells me that his head hurt so bad at night that he couldn't sleep. Being an extremely scientific mom, I put the back of my hand on his forehead, and sure enough, he was running a fever. His school has a "No Fever" policy, so Bubba went to work with me! He camped out in a conference room with cartoons, color crayons, and a sketch pad in the morning.

After lunch, Bubba was feeling great. He even helped me stuff envelopes! (Trust me, that's love.) He was prowling through my office while I tried to write letters and sort files when he said, "Mom! What's that?!?"

"What's what?"

"That super cool ball?"

The rest of the afternoon was shot. We went outside on the green and played with the rubberband ball. Let me tell you, this thing can bounce. It loses almost no kinetic energy! Roll it against a wall and it will come tearing back at you at Mach 10.

I don't think I have ever had so much fun at work. And it really was a productive day.


To give you some idea of its size, here's another shot of the Coolest Thing Ever. It is roughly four inches in diameter when measured with my thumb.


Peek-a-Boo is less than impressed.

I'd rather they get botulism than whine*

Once again, while in the car, Bubba was trying to decipher the universe. The following is as close to his words as possible.....

"Mom, I think I know how God grew up."

"Really?" said I.

"I think that God's mom and dad died when He was still in His mom's body. When He got to heaven, all the spirits were so happy that they raised Him to be the leader. Now He's in charge of the whole universe."

I wanted to ask so many questions: Who made the universe? What happened to God's mom and dad? But I was too busy trying to hide my laughter.

*I actually said this. The Hairy One made me promise to put it in the blog.

Do dolphins have nipples?

We went to the local pancake place tonight, and the monsters were cracking me up!

While we were eating, a foursome walked into the restaurant. "I hope that guy's not an enemy," says Bubba.

"What?!?"

"I hope that guy's not an enemy."

"Whose enemy?"

"I don't know, I just hope he's not an enemy."

"I'm sure he's not, Bubba."

Then on the drive home, Bubba is quietly explaining to the Bug that "nipples are on the outside and the inside part is called the chest."

"Honey, nipples are the bumps; the whole part above your tummy is your chest."

"Oh. So nipples are a family of two."

"What?!?"

"Nipples are a family of two."

"You mean everyone has two nipples."

"Yeah."

The Bug: "Not girls; girls have breasts."

Me, trying not to laugh too hard, "Girls have nipples too; everyone has nipples."

"Do bunnies have nipples?"

"Yes."

"How about fish?"

"No, fish don't have any. Only animals with hair or fur."

"Do dolphins have nipples?"

"Yes."

"Dolphins have nipples?!?"

I love those guys!!!!!